Thursday, August 30, 2007


Radiolab is one of the most brilliant, provoking, entertaining radio shows in the last ten years, if not the best radio program on the air right now. Hands down (although This American Life is a close second - first if you factor in longevity).

You must check it out if you haven't. Download their podcasts... they are fascinating and will leave you reeling for days.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Tomorrow marks the official end of Summer. This summer was unusually quiet and uneventful... well minus the pregnancy of course. But there were no foreign countries visited, or out of state week-long mission trips, or anything relatively out of the ordinary. (ok we did go to Oregon, which was great, but I'm just saying relatively - compared to the last few summers... and by few I mean the last 7 years... this summer was quiet)

But this summer was good. Good is such a blah word that could mean a million different things... but I'm not sure how to describe it. It was a summer of opposites... relaxing/stressful, busy/uneventful, different/the same old thing... things like that.

And now, as I alluded to in the last post, I am getting ready for the BIGGEST change of my life thus far; fatherhood. Once again I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff - clear blue water below - my heart is beating faster and faster as I realize I must jump - for there is no going back. I see that the future is down there... down where I can barely make out if it's deep enough - if I'll survive this jump - if there is peace somewhere down the river... but I have to jump. It's more like I am being pushed - which is great because I'm sort of a wuss most of the time anyway...

... so here we go.

Sunday, August 26, 2007


So how do you get there? You know... to the place you're suppose to get to. I think I'm lost...

Or maybe I'm not lost but I've forgotten where I was going. Things are rushing by me, and I know I'm moving - but I can't seem to see over the horizon. The clouds have moved in close and the trees are getting thicker and my life feels like a car slowing down just before a blind curve - not knowing what lies ahead - and being cautious for fear of the unexpected. Is this the way? Will I make it safely? Have I lost control... did I ever really have control?

There are so many questions/thoughts swirling in my head; it feels like a blended latte with a triple shot of expresso. I don't even drink coffee and that sounds about right. A million words travelling at a million miles per second through the corridors of my mind... slowing just enough so I get a glimpse, then speeding on, frustrating the crap out of me. I can't catch them... but I need to. Is this how normal people are? Not even able to catch their own thoughts...

Will the baby arrive ok? Will she be healthy?
Will I be a good father?
Will Robin be ok?
Will we have enough money? Do we need more? Do we need less?
What the heck is going on with my job? Do I suck at it?
Am I even doing anything worth while? How can I handle more responsibility?
When will I start to feel like I know what I'm doing?

... did I mention there were a million other questions/thoughts?

It feels good to write them down. Blogs are funny. Sometimes I wonder if anyone reads this. Other times I don't care - I just want to write - and the blog is a good excuse to. It makes my thoughts feel more real - now I can see them... almost touch them. I've captured them.

Now... how do I make sense of them?



Because it's free.