GETTING THERE

So how do you get there? You know... to the place you're suppose to get to. I think I'm lost...

Or maybe I'm not lost but I've forgotten where I was going. Things are rushing by me, and I know I'm moving - but I can't seem to see over the horizon. The clouds have moved in close and the trees are getting thicker and my life feels like a car slowing down just before a blind curve - not knowing what lies ahead - and being cautious for fear of the unexpected. Is this the way? Will I make it safely? Have I lost control... did I ever really have control?

There are so many questions/thoughts swirling in my head; it feels like a blended latte with a triple shot of expresso. I don't even drink coffee and that sounds about right. A million words travelling at a million miles per second through the corridors of my mind... slowing just enough so I get a glimpse, then speeding on, frustrating the crap out of me. I can't catch them... but I need to. Is this how normal people are? Not even able to catch their own thoughts...

Will the baby arrive ok? Will she be healthy?
Will I be a good father?
Will Robin be ok?
Will we have enough money? Do we need more? Do we need less?
What the heck is going on with my job? Do I suck at it?
Am I even doing anything worth while? How can I handle more responsibility?
When will I start to feel like I know what I'm doing?

... did I mention there were a million other questions/thoughts?

It feels good to write them down. Blogs are funny. Sometimes I wonder if anyone reads this. Other times I don't care - I just want to write - and the blog is a good excuse to. It makes my thoughts feel more real - now I can see them... almost touch them. I've captured them.

Now... how do I make sense of them?