My new life

Can I even relate what it feels like to have a child?

Everything changes.

And I don't just mean that you have less time for yourself (I'm so annoyed by those people who make it sound like they regret having kids). I'm talking, EVERYTHING changes. Suddenly the glasses you have been wearing up until now get shattered, replaced with new lens, and everything is different. Not only do you see things differently, you hear things differently, you feel things differently. Whatever chemical it is that our bodies release when we become parents (OXYTOSINE?) - it alters reality.

It enhances reality.

But more specifically, being a parent increases empathy.

For the first time I am beginning to understand, or at least empathize, with certain people.

For instance, I understand over protective parents. I still don't think it is healthy to be super over protective - but I understand how people become that.

I understand marital and family issues, how stressful parenting can be and how some who aren't prepared (mentally/spiritually) can break and lose it.

Suddenly the world is beginning to make more sense... and it doesn't freak me out, or make me angry. Instead, it gives me hope. I know that sounds weird... but in a way it helps me see the why behind certain things in the world which helps me be a better pastor. I don't know how to describe that - except that my job is to see the unseen. To witness the why's and help people see, understand, empathize, and hopefully... forgive. We could all use a little forgiveness. A little grace. Being a parent has taught me grace... we are all fragile, we are all weak. We are all trying the best we can with the hand we've been dealt. Even that effort of trying the best we can is effected by our pasts... it is all connected.

Things are beginning to make sense. But there are still so many mysteries. How do families become so dysfunctional and brothers and sisters, parents and kids become so angry towards each other? Where does it start? Can you see destruction happening - or does it just hit you in the face one day... Will it happen to us? So many questions still... a journey, a new life I am learning to live. A new dance to learn... and now Robin, Amalea and I are taking our first steps...stumbling to the rhythm, learning the dance.