Friday, January 18, 2008

When it hits you... it hits you hard.

Today was the first day I really thought I was going to lose it with Amalea.  Not really get mad at her, I'm not there yet, but just lose it by not finding the energy or motivation to play or be totally all there for her.  I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep... but her constant new-found scream told me there would be no resting today.

At 10:30 this morning, when I thought I couldn't handle it... I loaded her up in the car and we went for a drive.  Sorry global warming, but I looped around moorpark twice before stopping to get gas, go to the bank, and then go to the store.  Amalea just likes to be on the move... so when all else fails - get in the car.  Sure, she usually loses it at first in the car, but a few minutes in she'll give in to the constant rythme of the road and fall asleep.  

We made it through the day... but it sure was a long one.  I love Amalea so much, and each morning I really enjoy going in and watching her wake up, then picking her up and cuddling close, whispering good morning and I love you's in her ear, and then spending the morning just hanging out.  But when it hits you... the tiredness, the screaming, the poopy diapers, the constant need to be entertaining.... it hits you hard.

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